18

She turned 18 on Mother’s Day, the years flash by; I compare my way of being a mother to those who seem to be superhuman. I never was, unless you count getting two degrees and working full-time, but even then the guilt of time spent away from her eats at me. A mother’s guilt doesn’t…

Peace

I’m supposed to let go of control over things I cannot force, but I feel responsible for all the same. I seek a higher power for the first time in years, wondering why some are so sure they hear one. I can only imagine one in nature because of the peace that comes from a…

Clouds

Today I laid on my back under a tree, looking up at the sky, its wisps of clouds dancing in the beautiful blue heavens. I breathed in the crisp, cool air and closed my eyes as thoughts flooded my mind. Unexpected tears gently escaped as I thought of lost love, loneliness, my father’s upcoming death…

Forgotten

My nightmares of you have finally slowed The smirk on your face is starting to dull The lies you told have lost their hold The mask you wore has lost its host The damage you’ve done is unresolved Yet I take steps to be absolved Of any debts you left ignored You can’t repress my…

Crumbs

Breathe in, breathe out you cut some cords that did nothing for you but leave lines blurred You got some attention in vacant ways, minute moments of an endorphin filled daze Then felt the let-down, inevitably empty, no hope for love and consistency, it’s what you’re used to at your core, they give you crumbs…

Mosaic

I’m not broken, just like shattered pieces miraculously come back togetherimproved upon by time and the wisdom of age.I’m not broken because my love was taken for granted,unaccepted, rejected,betrayed.I’m not broken because I took him back as I hoped for change,and it’s not my fault I was his prey,I can’t take that blame.and it’s not…

Dad

I’m watching ‘Philadelphia’, eating fettucine alfredo and sipping champagne as I wear my father’s ‘Squatters’ shirt and allow the motivation to do nothing more overwhelm me. I’ve been walking through life since his recent passing, attempting to push down the pain as I usually do, but this time it is different: it is too all…

Casualty

I felt pretty when you spoke to me, like the mirror became kinder, I painted my nails, wore red lipstick, even gave myself a wink. I strutted with a more confident step, felt my eyes meet others instead of the ground, tried to keep a smile instead of a grimace, all because I felt seen…

Seascape

I am diving too much into news, buzzes and feeds, brutally aware of their intended distraction. I feel I am walking through mud as I attempt to make tiny steps toward productivity. When I do take a pause, without this device that threatens to bend my thumbs into a permanent texting state, I feel the…

500

I started writing poems when I was young, but nothing I would call a true hobby. I would write about God, religion, prayer, overcoming the flesh, all with the idea that I was on a journey toward salvation. Later, after difficult growth and trauma, I started writing poems for my own sanity; not to preach…