Every time I experience a difficult situation in my life, I go through each stage of grief: Denial, Sadness, Bargaining, Anger and Acceptance.
I’ve noticed the anger ebbs and flows throughout each phase, and there is an additional phase I always love to add to each situation I’m in : Catastrophising.
My simple definition for catastrophising is:
Making a situation out to be much more severe and devastating than it really is.
Your husband isn’t returning home from work on time at night: He must be cheating, or maybe he’s not even cheating with a girl, maybe he’s secretly gay!
You lost a friendship after not being in close proximity to each other anymore: I am totally and completely unloveable, I stain everything I touch.
You go to the doctor and find out you have abnormal cells in your womb:
I’m going to be diagnosed with cancer and die within 6 months, leaving my girls behind. They will end up delinquents and live sad lives without me.
All of these scenarios are from my own life, and most of them turned out much different than I was predicting.
My husband working late is a common occurrence and it’s because he legitimately gets stuck on computer and technological projects on a regular basis, him being the CTO and all.
My friendships dying? Very normal when not near each other anymore. It’s not because I have an aura that repels people after knowing me for a certain amount of time. Life happens, things change and we move on.
The abnormal cells in my womb? Caused by my IUD, and not actually harmful, the results were a false positive and I have a clean bill of health.
Catastrophising is something I feel is used to work from the worst possible case scenario and move backwards from there. It’s seems a form of emotional masochism.
I’m happy to say I’ve improved in this area, though I still find myself in scenarios of self-fulfilling prophecies where my predictions ended up sabotaging what could’ve been kept intact.
Live and Learn.