I never understood

I never understood suicidal thoughts
Until I allowed my feelings a voice

Not constantly pushing them down
Masking, ignoring

Feeling them is exhausting, excruciating work

If one piece of my puzzle fell apart
I might fall apart too

It’s difficult living for others when they could leave you

I want to live for me,
I want to learn to enjoy the horror of a broken heart
Cause it’s supposed to mean something right?
It’s supposed to mean I’m not dead inside

It’s supposed to mean I’m human and feel for other humans
It means I’m sensitive and want to help

It’s easy to help others, sometimes selfishly to forget I’m not helping myself

One piece of the puzzle, if it goes
Will I have the strength to persist?

Sometimes I wish I hadn’t opened this Pandora’s box

0 thoughts on “I never understood

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