I understand you’ve been her dad
As well as any biological father could
But, please don’t mistake my protection
For defiance or obstinance

I cannot tolerate undue criticism
An accident being overly discussed
A look on the face showing grand disapproval
Accidents happen

Curious kids use their minds
In curious ways
Using a dish scrubber to attempt removing nail polish
Jumping on a couch and immediately caving it in
Taking furniture out back to use in “The Hunger Games”

I don’t care if things break
It doesn’t matter to me
I have bigger things to worry about
And if my child is crying out of shame for a petty misstep

My mother bear will come out
Expect it, or don’t

But I won’t apologize

Knowing me is knowing my past
Knowing me is knowing how it affects me
Knowing me is understanding that I’ve had too many male figures in my life let me down

I hated my step-dads before this last one, and even him I feel partially rejected by

Yelling in their faces
Slamming doors
Screaming at the top of my lungs
Their critical eye always on me

And you wonder why I’m triggered? Why I don’t want my child to feel the same way even momentarily?

Maybe it’s to her detriment that I jump in, but at the very minimum she will know I will protect her feelings at whatever cost

It’s what I must do as her wounded mother

Photo Credit: Polar Bear (Ursus Maritimus) and Cubs – David Jenkins