The Past

Crying on my knees
Praying for deliverance
From phantoms in my room
Torturous penance

Reaching out to God

Change my situation
Heal me of my wounds
Bring to me salvation

Cries were not heard
The button on mute
Fingers in ears
My plight became moot

Depending on a being
To save me from my sadness
Slowly turned my world
To chaos and madness

Vicious wrestling
Torn in between a version
Of myself pre and post
Conversion

Rejection
Alienation
Abandonment
Retribution
Victimization
Isolation
Judgement
Ruin

By those who once loved me
Unable to fit the mold prescribed
Venturing, I cross this pit

What was lost was gained
In humanity’s awareness
Accepting the “lost”
With justice and fairness
My father as gay
My sister apostate
My friends as not fallen
Erasing my hate

Erasing my “love” in
Righteousness’ name

I now hold to my candle
the burning flame

Photo Credit: The Persistence of Memory, Salvador Dali

0 thoughts on “The Past

    1. I appreciate your words, but have found fulfillment and freedom in another path. Leaving the Mormon church after being devout for 25 years shook my whole world. The deprogramming I went through was agonizing. Coming out of something like that leaves a person changed. Research happens, experience and reflection happen. Not having a dogma has given me freedom in such a profound way. It has given me the opportunity to find myself and get to know myself all over again.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s