Crying on my knees
Praying for deliverance
From phantoms in my room
Torturous penance
Reaching out to God
Change my situation
Heal me of my wounds
Bring to me salvation
Cries were not heard
The button on mute
Fingers in ears
My plight became moot
Depending on a being
To save me from my sadness
Slowly turned my world
To chaos and madness
Vicious wrestling
Torn in between a version
Of myself pre and post
Conversion
Rejection
Alienation
Abandonment
Retribution
Victimization
Isolation
Judgement
Ruin
By those who once loved me
Unable to fit the mold prescribed
Venturing, I cross this pit
What was lost was gained
In humanity’s awareness
Accepting the “lost”
With justice and fairness
My father as gay
My sister apostate
My friends as not fallen
Erasing my hate
Erasing my “love” in
Righteousness’ name
I now hold to my candle
the burning flame
Photo Credit: The Persistence of Memory, Salvador Dali
The Melancholy Spitfire 
Keep your lamp burning and reach for His hand. He sees you. He hears you. He know the way you take. Hold on
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I appreciate your words, but have found fulfillment and freedom in another path. Leaving the Mormon church after being devout for 25 years shook my whole world. The deprogramming I went through was agonizing. Coming out of something like that leaves a person changed. Research happens, experience and reflection happen. Not having a dogma has given me freedom in such a profound way. It has given me the opportunity to find myself and get to know myself all over again.
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Wow! That’s awesome! I know what that reprogramming is like.
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It’s tough work!
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And you’re doing your part!
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Thank you 🙂 I appreciate that!
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