Counter strike

Fuck my negative
Doomsday voice
It’s what keeps me stunted
Keeps me chained
Triggered

I make excuses for behavior
Instead of removing the hand
That leads me into sorrow

Each transgression committed
Can be stopped like morse code
But I choose to allow messages
From hostile enemies
To penetrate my soul

Fuck you
From now on I’m waking up
At 5 am if I have to
4 am, 3
It doesn’t matter what it takes
For me to start my day right

Meditate, pray (ha)
Drink coffee, exercise
Watch a show
Take a leisurely shower
Not use baby powder on my hair
Cause I woke up too late to wash it
Or apply makeup in the car
Cause I can’t heed an alarm
Procrastination ends now
Or maybe tomorrow

Maybe I’ll invent a contraption
That zaps me into awareness
At the time I most need it
So I don’t heed the call
Of my dying old soul

Fuck it all
If I can’t get this right
My eating disorder will morph
My hope and humanity will change
I’ll stop giving two fucks about anyone else

Maybe seek revenge for all
Inflicted upon me
By anyone in ignorant bliss
I have shit on people
Dirt unbelievable
I could gain power through pain

Switch the roles
Turn my human voice into the minority
And give a voice and playground to Demons instead

Nah,
How about I just tell them
To go play with the willing
And leave me the fuck alone

Photo Credit: Black Swan

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