Trigger Warning: I am not suicidal. I just feel like the way I treat myself is killing me slowly, and that is what this poem references.

Half way in
Half way out
I feel the water’s soothing

Thoughts are flailing above my head
I reject the ones that want me dead

Seconds pass
Seconds fly
I feel the days moving

Safety and comfort lighten me
As I honor the good in my memory:

I woke up early to cuddle my girls
Made time to play with their gorgeous curls;

Headed to work and kept my goal
Of offering words to calm, console

Helped feed the homeless and treat the poor
Left for home, couldn’t hold much more

The tears flooded, the sadness crept
Driving home, I steadily wept

Came home and found my reasons to live
My girls and my husband who always forgive

No reason to feel such crippling guilt
Or think my worth can’t be rebuilt

I’m loved for more than the eye can see
For simply being

Me

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