Like walkin’ on pumice
instead of falling in lava
The choices so few in this situation
I’d rather be who I am,
than a beggar of others
Whose eyes I cannot see

I’d rather protect my sister and her children, than see them in a flooded system where too many needed services preached as provided are not, where staff are too overspent and overwhelmed to give high barrier clients the one-on-one attention they need.

If protecting them means sacrificing every last bit of my mental, emotional and financial resources, so be it. I won’t compromise mine or my family’s integrity by riding the waves of the system just because I know how to, just because I’ve seen it manipulated and been the manipulated.

It shouldn’t have to be manipulated in the first place.

I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but if it keeps me away from my former workplace where my sister was receiving homeless services, helps me to stop feeling so much frustration in a broken system that I can do nothing about, and helps me to move on and maybe help facilitate further healing for our family as a whole, then I can continue these arduous steps.

Here’s hoping, cause ‘Sis and the nephews are living with us now while I’m raising her two oldest kids and one of my own. There are definite pluses, but too many feelings and personalities to manage all at once.

I think we will be okay.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

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