Mommy Dear

Mommy Dear, I finally took a stand
one I previously avoided
I revealed in eloquent words and tones
the root of what has tainted, molded
secrets, gossip, malcontent
don’t worry mom, you’re not the scribe
but merely a puppet of marionettes
that have nothing but weakness on which to thrive

I’ve tried to say you’re strong and brave
that I’m on you’re side, forgiven you
but no matter what I do or say
your barbs come out and you call me names

Most recent and unacceptable:

“My darling, brave, damaged, spiteful, girl”

Compliments mixed with spears and thorns?
Because I’m protecting those who need protection from yours?

It’s not a mystery – boundaries hurt;
pride and ego intercede,
but take it like an intervention;
this is exactly what you need

If I have to be the scapegoat,
built up from birth as angry and bitter
and you as the victim of an ungrateful daughter:

I can take it,
I have tough skin,
I’ve been down this road and back again,
I’ve been pushed and pulled like a rubber band,
and all I care about, all that matters,
is that this full house has protective mother(s)

Where were you, when I needed you most?
Standing in judgement, stepped away

Where were you when she needed you most?
Meddling, squawking to anyone who would listen, I got sucked in, I regret to this day;
misguided words I can’t take back
I’m invested now, and I’m taking the time
to get my relationship with my sister back

She deserved more than you gave to her
so much more purity of word and thought
and now I’m the one being brave for her
and its too damn much for your brain to plot

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