Mirrors

Once a teen, I remember well, how it felt to think I knew it all,
Expand my independence, and raise my voice;
Make my own choices, debate the ones given me.
I wasn’t rebellious, just a back talker,
I guess I still am in many ways,
but I’ve learned through the years to be more aware,
and give mercy where it’s due, including to myself.

Merciful moments given to me, by my girls in their awareness are precious, and remind me that these beautiful beings that I have the gift of nurturing are like mirrors for each stage of life.

We want time machines, but they are them, déjà vu, past experiences relived, over and over again to be tested on how we would react face-to-face with our former selves.

Sometimes I don’t pass the test.

Most times they teach me something profound, parents usually repeat the refrain that their children are their greatest teachers, motivators, educators, mirrors, and I will say the same.

Once a teen, I remember well, thinking that I knew it all,
I spoke to my mother in ways I regret,
I didn’t see her with the mercy I should have,
I looked at her actions like that of a judge,
I felt she was invincible because she acted it,
She shed few tears in front of us because she wanted to seem strong.

But I know now the way she felt,
I know the fears she had,
I know the masks she wore to seem like she was invincible,
I know I showed her mercy sometimes,
and taught her things that were profound, and this cycle continues faced with the passing of time and growing pains from end-to-end, all encompassing love, warmth, and forgiveness. 

Love you Mom. Thank you for talking to me this morning. “You always make me feel better”.

Emily ©

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