The Past

February 9, 2015

Crying on my knees

Praying for deliverance
From phantoms in my room
Torturous penance

Reaching out to God

Change my situation
Heal me of my wounds
Bring to me salvation

Cries were not heard
The button on mute
Fingers in ears
My plight became moot

Depending on a being
To save me from my sadness
Slowly turned my world
To chaos and madness

Vicious wrestling
Torn in between a version
Of myself pre and post conversion

Rejection
Alienation
Abandonment
Retribution
Victimization
Isolation
Judgment
Ruin

By those who once loved me
Unable to fit the mold prescribed
Venturing, I cross this pit

What was lost was gained
In humanity’s awareness
Accepting the “lost”
With justice and fairness
My father as gay
My sister apostate
My friends as not fallen
Erasing my hate

Erasing my “love” in
Righteousness’ name

I now hold to my candle
the burning flame

Emily ©

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