As I left that day to see a friend, overwhelming sadness flooded, a strain to leave you alone, even for a few hours.
I hugged you and wept, kissed your cheek, felt comforted with you in my arms, you’re used to me getting weepy now, it doesn’t bother you; the cycle of life reminds me, your time at home is swiftly ending.
As I drove, tears flooded my cheeks, remembering the years given to me with you by my side, depending on me to be strong for us both.
I wasn’t in the way I wished, and now I feel gripping presence calling me to make changes, do better by you. My time for taking on the challenges of others at your expense must cease.
Time will slip, the day will come when you leave the nest, and all I will see through blurry eyes is the piece of me that is you; the core of my heart, moving on to a world I can’t fully protect you from.
The vulnerability and unexplained love I felt for you when you were born, I understand as the most precious bond I have, the purest.
Our love endures, evolves, and I want to show you I know that what I see when I look at you is real. You, as you are, were and will be, fully accepted, adored, loved and remembered as the love of my life. The only true one.
Emily Cloward © 2018