Upped my dose
now when I feel
it’s like an avalanche
building slowly with time
precipitation, density
one fated sound or movement
the unwelcome trigger
revealing what’s buried
underneath
my belly aches
eyes burn
with the manifestations
of all past regrets
losses, tragedies
mingled with remembrance
of when I was strong enough
to be consistent
now I’m consistent with
survival only
feel the blur of reality
as it is for others
I seek a way to
penetrate my inner desires
knowing how many times
I have failed myself
each time brings
feelings of utter betrayal
I seek to purge violently
or numb completely
unaware of the
immediate build
until the next
avalanche decides to burst.
Emily C. Poésie © 2019
Pixabay / Stux
