fought through the pain of each slow step saw hills above me as I went, looked at the ground, hid what was ahead, more hills and paths I’d have to tread, quiet, no noise except the wind, no distraction to be had, I felt the old familiar dread, how to continue, reach the end, I…


July 23, 2017 If I leave my bed, I’m responsible for filling my day with responsible things: cooking, cleaning, exercise, looking like someone not hurting inside, not wanting to hide in my shell of lost pride, but I have no choice, I can’t decide to just lay here as a husk of myself, pop a…


she’s starting to feel the familiar tick, the tension building around her neck, tears rising up from covered depths, “take your pills, baby, your brain is a mess” victories seem like anxious what ifs, when she meets them, her mind starts to drift, to crevices that never left, she entertains them like a long lost…


I won’t push anyone to love me, if I feel I start to love them, I’ll manifest in varied ways, unable to contain, gauge the response, reign my feelings in, box them up for perhaps another day. Emily ©


Know yourself, learn trust and forgiveness, mercy and boundaries for voices within, curiosity for what resides under your skin, acceptance for imperfection, learning slow lessons, gradual progression, kind evolution that you can take in, tenderness with heart and mind. Emily ©


No worries or drama, not with you expectation won’t drown us, we’ll flounder instead in the webs in our heads chaos created too soon confusion to find a way out together one moment, then alone. Emily ©


unafraid of my stories, or those others tell, vibrations of body, our hearts, minds and cells, move onward and upward as you will, despite walls of pain, the cold, the chill, aware of the shame you may feel, the guilt and the blame society built, let go, be free, speak. Emily ©


I’m about to get dark, not in my usual way, with vague comments on my life, dim complexities, I’m about to dive in with why I write with this pen, it’s a theme, a trend, a coping mechanism, but not just that, a replacement of something gruesome and painful, a habit hateful and shameful, hidden…


Without my pill, I cannot sleep, my mind awake with thoughts to think, tomorrow’s here, without my dreams, I’m restless in both worlds. Emily ©


I just want to feel clean, whatever that means, free from my sins, the trouble they bring, try to wash away all the stains, even then, they hardly fade, a stark reminder if a slip is made, when the rain pours down in brilliant spades. Emily ©