Pang

My psychiatrist tells me I am progressing, taking the necessary steps toward healing but I can’t find a therapist who will listen to all the unpacking I need to purge the system is flooded and all I can hope for is an outsourced counseling student who is earning her hours when what I really need…

Dictate

They are back again dreams swirling through my mind like a bad omen an endless maze of buried memories abstract and nauseating a hangover of doubt I am feeling today agitation and malaise consuming me why can’t I be who I wish to be? why do I spin on this endless wheel? others seem to…

Bends

Mirrors with voices society built, in the past now. She sees through her curves and bends the battle of wounds that still haven’t fully healed knowing they will with time, love, patience, given herself and by others; undressing slowly, she loves herself. Emily C. Poésie © 2018 JiltedVerse 31 guide words: curved flesh, defined essence,…

Mindful

Coasting isn’t the way, I know its path too well, when feeling overwhelmed by grief, whatever kind I choose, whatever kind bestowed on me, with blinders on and those I see, I can’t control the things I can’t, only the girl I choose to see in the mirror staring back at me. It is a…

 Heart Shelter

In what kind of world would a woman, girl, pick a man who she had to chase? From the beginning it was true, disconsolate at being apart, new cycles feeding on the old, patterns becoming known. A lost puppy, I called myself when I met you, my family emotionally left me behind, but you were…

Final Straw? 

losing pounds, unwanted baggage shipping off to neverland peeling off these final layers ready to take my final stand started broad now moving in these final walls keep closing in on you I understand it’s not a feeling you like having, but you’re in the spotlight now baby, allowances made before now fading  _________________________________ No…

Comedienne

I feel like crying ’til a drought is claimed every pound I’m losing feels like naked truth every fear I’m feeling seeping through my skin manifesting clearly on my unveiled face but only in the mirror staring back at me to everyone else I seem convinced so sure of each step, unfaltering will no sign…

My Body: The Final Frontier 

The time finally came the light switched on my mind set a path my feet stepped on I walked in the door of a brutal gym dictated my goals to a trainer, a him a him, that’s new didn’t even blink could’ve picked a girl, that’d be way too easy Tryin’ to break free out…

Normals

Originally written 1/29/2016. I still have my “armor”, but it’s okay. It’s slowly coming off, in the way it should.

Dear Me

Wrenches, cogs, oil spills triggers, hurdles, mine fields barriers, keep spinning that wheel keep feeling those feelings, shouldering those burdens, having those meetings, interventions, voicing of opinions, and confrontations, It’s all necessary – don’t apologize, unless malicious, which you aren’t they don’t know your heart like I do they don’t know your heart like these…