Dad

I’m watching ‘Philadelphia’, eating fettucine alfredo and sipping champagne as I wear my father’s ‘Squatters’ shirt and allow the motivation to do nothing more overwhelm me. I’ve been walking through life since his recent passing, attempting to push down the pain as I usually do, but this time it is different: it is too all…

Voices

Hymns played in my head repeatedly, didn’t keep the demons’ voices away from me, a young girl of wavering certainty. Impressions in my bed, was it in my head? the whispers they once told to me, my soul exposed, now overgrown with the weeds of jaded apostacy. Emily©

Revelations

I was calm in the car today. I didn’t cry as I drove home, and as I started to think of why that could be, I felt a sense of empowerment and relief. I know I’m not the easiest person to deal with sometimes, and those are the thoughts that sometimes swirl for far too…

Second Life

Leaving Mormonism after being devout all my life, left me floundering in some ways to find my identity, but after a little over a decade, I’m happy with where the search is taking me.

One Man’s Trash…

After watching this video of “Neon Trees” front man Tyler Glenn lambasting the Mormon church, my heart’s pounding with how much feeling comes across and how much I can relate. The red “X”: Whether put through the humiliation of excommunication (as some of my beloved family members have had to endure) or the hassle of…

Open Heart

Moved to Cali to hide away from those I felt misunderstood recent events renewed bravery to stand in places I once stood to have interactions longed for, needed with new outlook and healing balm with hearts opened to peaceful dominion with prospects now for future calm Called my daddy the other day, crying couldn’t be…

Under the Iron Sea

Under the Iron Sea is an album by one of my favorite, now unfortunately broken up bands, Keane. Their album cover from their 2006 release is the featured image. The art has always resonated with me, just as the band and their music has. I tried to attend as many live shows as I could…

Everything Happens for a Reason?

Originally Posted on December 20, 2011 to my former blog, “The Melancholy Spitfire” At least once or twice a week I hear the phrase “Everything Happens for a Reason”, and I can’t help but cringe each time I do, because I hardly think that the people saying it are aware of what they’re communicating or…